I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. Just super busy.
I really do want an iPad/tablet that I could take to bed with me to write posts - because I'm never inclined to take my computer back there. ;o)
I read something the other day that got me to thinking…
I believe that people with Autism can make some of the most perfect relationship partners.
They're extremely tolerant (if they were raised properly) and everyone, within their realm of sexualism (I can't think right now of a better way to say that), to them is a potential long-term relationship.
It doesn't matter if she's 'chunky' (as I am) or he wears glasses or she has teeth that really needed to be in braces or he doesn't shower regularly lol (clothes pin anyone?) - they're all potential partners.
That's not to say that they don't salivate about some, who doesn't(?), but they have no problem 'settling' with a person that someone who is 'neuro-typical' wouldn't even consider in their ballpark.
Put on a little weight, don't do your hair, stay in your jammies all day, read or watch tv all day, etc. it doesn't matter as the partner with Autism will not only still love the person but will very possibly join them in the same room for some parallel 'play' (and with much glee I might add).
But of course that means you'll be interrupted every 3 to 5 minutes with information about whatever it is he/she is working on. Often times a small price to pay just to get them out of their room and into the same room with you for awhile but still the interruptions can be a bit aggravating depending on what you're doing. ;o)
I realize that for many neuro-typical people it wouldn't be 'cool' for them to be with someone who doesn't notice when they've spent time dressing up as they need to be 'seen' by their partner, they need to see that they are appreciated and beautiful.
When the partner expresses no opinion in regard to how you appear it can be a real drag - but when you think about it it's typically a drag only when you've spent the time to 'dress up' (along with make-up if appropriate, nice clothes, styled hair, etc.).
On those days when your hair is crazy wild & you didn't shower when you got up - he's not going to really notice that (or it won't register for long in his mind); you lounge and read or watch tv all day (or whatever lazy 'sport' you do); you totally don't feel like cooking dinner so you don't (and you also don't order take out - you just plain don't put dinner out); etc. he's not going to have even one negative thought about how you look, how you're lazing, how you're not doing dinner, etc.
In fact he'll probably be happy because it'll mean that he doesn't have to clean the kitchen! (and as mentioned he'll probably be quite happy to join you in the same room)So really, getting upset when they don't notice that you're dressed up vs. when you *haven't* spent the time to get dressed up, is that really fair to get upset that he doesn't notice when truly the only time we get upset is when we've spent time to look nice - and yet not when we've most definitely not spent any time at all to look nice.
It doesn't matter what religion you are (or aren't), and again as long as the person was raised properly, your beliefs are accepted unconditionally.
My childrens' grandparents are of American Indian descent and taught the kids about the various 'Gods'.
There are a LOT of cultures that have different 'Gods'.
And then some don't believe in anything that they can't see or touch so they don't believe that there actually is a 'God'.
And then there's the UFO's… ;o)
The person with Autism doesn't mind at all what your beliefs are.
So if you're adamant about keeping your religion you'll know that you won't have to worry about arguments over it (unless you insist that s/he go with you if they don't want to). ;o)
How about those who would like a few days away from their spouse - regularly?
In my experience it's perfect, for anyone who wants those days alone (regularly), to be with someone with Autism.
You're going to get the alone time from your partner anyway whether you want it or not and since you know that's going to happen why not be guaranteed that you'll get that time that you need - and believe me it will be a regular occurence.
The person with Autism absolutely has to have the alone time - so you're going to have it whether or not you want it.
So again, why not be guaranteed that you'll get that alone time that you're already aware that you're going to want in a relationship?
All of us with Autism - all we want to do is please. That makes us perfect partners for a certain group within the population!
There are other things but I'm whooped and still have hours of work ahead of me.
If this doesn't make sense I blame the above. ;o)
zzzzz… Diane
P.S. Please remember that I am on the spectrum as are my children (young adults now) and I have no intent to offend in any way.
