How do I "be" homeless?

WHEN am I going to feel better? So freaking depressed, fighting tears, trying to appear better than I am.

Started a new medication (Risperdal), and was taken off of the Klonopin (anti-anxiety, yet also evil, med) that I've been on for more years than I can remember.

My anxiety is through the roof, my suicidal ideation is running rampant, and it was all I could do to keep it together emotionally today. I have to for my son's sake but it's so hard to deal with it silently.

I don't do a good job of it and he's been worried about me, more than he's been letting on.

I know that our income is not enough to keep us from going homeless. I need to figure out how to increase my own.

I've not kept him, or others, in the dark about it. I've been saying for awhile now that we're on the verge of homelessness.

But everyone responds with "You're not going to be homeless".

I ran the numbers. My business is not doing well enough to carry itself, or me, let alone make up for the expenses that are above my son's income.

I don't know if it's due to a brain injury from a fall or damage caused by the Klonopin but whatever it is, I haven't been able to figure out Quickbooks since 2015 (coincidentally the year I fell and hit my head on driftwood) so I haven't been able to do the finances.

I also haven't been able to work Quicken. This is after having used these software items for 15+ years. It's like the knowledge of how to use it, plus the ability to learn how to use it, has been sucked from my brain.

Partnerships have gone by the wayside. My sales are pretty much nil because I've been directing my visitors to said partners.

Now I have to try to figure out how to be creative in my brain to put my websites back together to bring in sales of forms as well as be able to track those sales/income.

Plus figure out how to rebuild my financial picture by trying to learn Quickbooks and Quicken.

And I have to figure out how to increase the income within the next couple weeks if we have any hope of being here through December.

Shit... I've worked so hard at helping my son to leave his world of Autism and he's actually out there working a full-time job that he got on his own no less, and now here I am screwing it up with my business, and mental health, falling apart. Shit.

And my daughter. 

Oh she's been through so much and I continue to pile more on her with my own woes. She's the last person that should have to deal with me and my issues, 

I wasn't "there" for her like I should have been, on more than one occasion, and yet here she is doing everything she can to help me even while not great things are going on in her own world.

She's such a wonderful, giving person. 

I love them both so much and I am trying very hard to pull things together financially and emotionally, and to not hurt them any more with my own emotional pain.

I wish this medication were a magic pill of sorts. I need enough time to clear out the old med, get the new med working, get the income fixed, get the financial picture fixed, and still hold it together emotionally so as to not distress either of them any further than I have already.

How do I be homeless? The therapist says "what about 'How do I NOT be homeless?'". But if we're going to be homeless I need to know, how? 

People think that shelters are plentiful and that they're safe places (both thoughts are inaccurate), or they choose to not think about it at all. 

But what do I do? How... 

We don't have a car, we don't have a tent, we don't have anything. 

We don't even have warm clothes due to a very misguided decision that I made in 2017.

I am so scared of what's happening, and even more scared of what I'm causing for my son.